dear bette midler,

just a quick list of some things i think of when your most popular exploit comes to mind:

puke
slutty
fucking gay
children working in sweatshops
terrible
showing of your talent
overtheshoulderboulderholder
cheesey
turn it off
my lord Yahweh why are you doing this to me
pile of crap
rape of american society
the opposite of feminism
bunny rabbits - run over by cars

congratulations on a job well done.

yours,

a-lister